it's really true

when planning a pregnancy, you begin to learn about all the factors affecting fertility and how to optimize your chances of conceiving. and then the books caution you about miscarriage and complications and so by the time you're pregnant, you don't know if it's ok to be excited. it's strange. you feel very happy- it's what you've been wanting. but there's this ominous voice persistently lurking around warning, "it's still early".

luckily for me, that passed quickly. it helped to speak to jen & mom on the phone. they assured me that this was it: i was pregnant. it was validating to hear from women who have had children that i was authorized to feel excited and i lost my uncertainty. by the time the doctor confirmed it a few days later, i didn't even need to hear it from a professional. i felt that i was pregnant.