i am a volunteer!

i am officially a volunteer at the eugene public library. like cpl, they use envisionware (a program that manages patrons' PC appointments). but it is new and apparently, causing confusion among patrons. so i will be assisting them with signing up to use a computer and explaining how the system works.

the epl volunteer program is extremely well-organized, with a formal application/interview process and training. i had an orientation last week and will begin tomorrow.

i'm excited to get back into libraryland. i miss it!

dad

while we were at the hospital, all of the nurses kept calling greg "dad". at one point, i pointed this out to him and he smiled and said that he liked it. it was so cute.

one of the nurses told us that the firstborn tends to be the achiever. she said that she'll likely do well in school, like books, be very responsible, and care a lot about achieving goals. she also told greg that her relationship with him will be a very important one and that at times, she'll be closer to him than to me. we were both kind of happy & glowing while hearing this prophecy. it was just so nice to have our focus redirected during that moment and to think about the future with our baby.

greg has been so wonderful throughout the pregnancy and he was great last weekend while i was on bed rest, going to get groceries, cooking meals, taking care of the house, etc. i feel incredibly happy that our daughter will have such a caring and supportive (and fun) father, who is so looking forward to her arrival and excited about becoming a dad.

healthy & happy

well, we are doing much better now. the bed rest seems to have done the trick. i feel great. the contractions have stopped and the midwife said that i can begin incorporating my usual activities into my life. basically, i'm starting slow to see if anything causes a problem. but i really don't think it will. the most important thing is that i now know what feels normal and what doesn't, which isn't always easy during pregnancy, since you regularly seem to encounter new & sometimes bizarre sensations.

while we were in the hospital, we had some more ultrasound pictures taken. our baby always seems to have her hands near her face. (which is also how i sleep.) and this time, she had her feet there too! (that i can't do.) the technician said that she was playing with her foot as if it were a little toy. it was just so cute, i thought i'd put it up here:

"i'm ok. there's just a lot going on in my uterus."

this was something i said to greg recently and we both started laughing a lot after i said it. at the time, i didn't know what was going on but now that i look back, i just had a sense that something wasn't quite right.

this past wednesday, i started to notice some contractions. at first, i wasn't worried because i had read that it is normal to experience "Braxton Hicks" contractions (that is, contractions not related to labor) from the fifth month on. however, by the next evening, they increased in frequency and i became concerned. we called the midwife who was on call and she said we should meet her at the hospital.

once we arrived, they hooked me up to a fetal heart monitor, which also measures contractions. it was a tremendous relief to learn that the baby was doing well. her heart rate was good and she was very active (as per norm). but it was also disconcerting because the contractions were three minutes apart and fairly strong. chris, one of the five midwives we see, was great. she put me on an IV to prevent dehydration and some medication that would relax the muscle of the uterus. she also ordered two tests: a fetal fibronectin, which determines if labor is imminent within the next two weeks, and an ultrasound to measure cervical length. i was most scared when she said, "i don't think you'll go into labor tonight." the idea of actually going into preterm labor was unthinkable and not something i wanted to face. though technically speaking, a baby has a good chance at survival at 24 weeks, going into labor now would obviously be a horrible thing.

i became absolutely focused on keeping the baby in for a few more months. that is all i began to care about. it was really strange because just last week (back in a more innocent time), i said to greg that i thought being on bed rest would be such a horrible thing in pregnancy. the thought of not being able to go for a walk or cook a meal or do anything seemed unbearable. but my feelings immediately changed in that moment and i began to hope for that outcome. i thought that if we could just slow or stop these contractions, i'd happily stay in bed or do whatever it takes to avoid going into labor for a few more months.

the contractions continued through the night but began to wane in the morning. the results of both tests were reassuring and we were discharged from the hospital that afternoon. i was to be on bed rest for three days and see the midwife at the birth center on monday. things have really improved since then. i am feeling great and have only had a few contractions, which have been much more mild.

it is not known what causes some women to have early contractions. chris ruled out some concerns that i had: that there could be a problem with the baby or uterus or that it could have been something i did. she said that it is not related to any of these. if there were a problem with the baby or uterus, the 22 week ultrasound would have shown that. and many women who lead more physically strenuous lives than i do (athletes, women who work full-time, or take care of their other children) don't ever have this problem. she said it is not yet known what can cause it. but we do have a good idea of how to prevent preterm labor from starting. i am to avoid standing and lying on my back as much as possible, drink a ton of water throughout the day, and continue to maintain a healthy diet. we are also going to repeat both of the tests in two weeks.

greg and i are feeling very happy and relieved at this point because the situation has improved dramatically. and we feel lucky to have gotten our wish: the contractions have decreased and i didn't go into early labor. but i do feel somewhat confused and disappointed about all of this. i have never had any health problems and the pregnancy seemed to be progressing so well. at every prenatal appointment and ultrasound, everything seemed perfectly healthy. we had no warning signs or cause for concern at any point within the past six months. so this seems to really have come out of the blue. ultimately, i have to accept that we probably won't ever know why this happened.

on a final note, i feel very pleased that we elected to work with a midwifery practice that is affiliated with the hospital here. i absolutely never thought that i would need to visit the hospital but pregnancy and childbirth (i've discovered) are less predictable than we would like. and it was very reassuring that we were able to easily get such great care and medical help at a crucial time. we are still hoping to give birth naturally at the birth center and chris said that as long as we can make it to 37 weeks, this issue won't prevent us from being deemed "low-risk" enough to deliver there.