"i'm ok. there's just a lot going on in my uterus."

this was something i said to greg recently and we both started laughing a lot after i said it. at the time, i didn't know what was going on but now that i look back, i just had a sense that something wasn't quite right.

this past wednesday, i started to notice some contractions. at first, i wasn't worried because i had read that it is normal to experience "Braxton Hicks" contractions (that is, contractions not related to labor) from the fifth month on. however, by the next evening, they increased in frequency and i became concerned. we called the midwife who was on call and she said we should meet her at the hospital.

once we arrived, they hooked me up to a fetal heart monitor, which also measures contractions. it was a tremendous relief to learn that the baby was doing well. her heart rate was good and she was very active (as per norm). but it was also disconcerting because the contractions were three minutes apart and fairly strong. chris, one of the five midwives we see, was great. she put me on an IV to prevent dehydration and some medication that would relax the muscle of the uterus. she also ordered two tests: a fetal fibronectin, which determines if labor is imminent within the next two weeks, and an ultrasound to measure cervical length. i was most scared when she said, "i don't think you'll go into labor tonight." the idea of actually going into preterm labor was unthinkable and not something i wanted to face. though technically speaking, a baby has a good chance at survival at 24 weeks, going into labor now would obviously be a horrible thing.

i became absolutely focused on keeping the baby in for a few more months. that is all i began to care about. it was really strange because just last week (back in a more innocent time), i said to greg that i thought being on bed rest would be such a horrible thing in pregnancy. the thought of not being able to go for a walk or cook a meal or do anything seemed unbearable. but my feelings immediately changed in that moment and i began to hope for that outcome. i thought that if we could just slow or stop these contractions, i'd happily stay in bed or do whatever it takes to avoid going into labor for a few more months.

the contractions continued through the night but began to wane in the morning. the results of both tests were reassuring and we were discharged from the hospital that afternoon. i was to be on bed rest for three days and see the midwife at the birth center on monday. things have really improved since then. i am feeling great and have only had a few contractions, which have been much more mild.

it is not known what causes some women to have early contractions. chris ruled out some concerns that i had: that there could be a problem with the baby or uterus or that it could have been something i did. she said that it is not related to any of these. if there were a problem with the baby or uterus, the 22 week ultrasound would have shown that. and many women who lead more physically strenuous lives than i do (athletes, women who work full-time, or take care of their other children) don't ever have this problem. she said it is not yet known what can cause it. but we do have a good idea of how to prevent preterm labor from starting. i am to avoid standing and lying on my back as much as possible, drink a ton of water throughout the day, and continue to maintain a healthy diet. we are also going to repeat both of the tests in two weeks.

greg and i are feeling very happy and relieved at this point because the situation has improved dramatically. and we feel lucky to have gotten our wish: the contractions have decreased and i didn't go into early labor. but i do feel somewhat confused and disappointed about all of this. i have never had any health problems and the pregnancy seemed to be progressing so well. at every prenatal appointment and ultrasound, everything seemed perfectly healthy. we had no warning signs or cause for concern at any point within the past six months. so this seems to really have come out of the blue. ultimately, i have to accept that we probably won't ever know why this happened.

on a final note, i feel very pleased that we elected to work with a midwifery practice that is affiliated with the hospital here. i absolutely never thought that i would need to visit the hospital but pregnancy and childbirth (i've discovered) are less predictable than we would like. and it was very reassuring that we were able to easily get such great care and medical help at a crucial time. we are still hoping to give birth naturally at the birth center and chris said that as long as we can make it to 37 weeks, this issue won't prevent us from being deemed "low-risk" enough to deliver there.